Someone around here must have some hidden away ‘cos that new-found super-power I so recently flaunted here seems to be malfunctioning already. It’s gotta be someone’s fault that it’s deserted me right?
Maybe it’s Abhijeet, who’s on the other end of my frustrated questions about why my findyourpath email address isn’t working yet. Maybe it’s the guest who called wanting more milk and just happens to be in the cottage furthest from reception who’s at the root of my bad day.
Unfortunately it’s neither.
Personal responsibility is a catch phrase I’ve used for quite some time. It’s easy to spout that off when you’re talking about someone else and how they ought to take responsibility for their own thoughts and actions. When you’re applying it to yourself it can get kinda, well…. ugly. It’s not always easy to turn the spotlight on yourself and take a good look at the way you think and act. It feels so much better and easier to point the finger and say “It’s all your fault I’m having a bad day”.
But I don’t actually think it IS someone else’s fault – ever.
Big statement to make huh? I can hear you right now. “But that person did xxx to me, said xxx to me. Of course I’m going to feel insert-appropriate-adjective-here because of that. They should have treated me better”.
Trust me, I get it. And I usually want to do that too.
For me this is where that ole Law of Attraction pops up again. I’ll give you fair warning right here peeps, this post falls squarely into a realm some would consider to be ‘airy-fairy-spirituality-crap’.
I believe that for those events to have come into my experience, and believe me many, many more just like them occurred on the day in question, I have to have invited them in. If you’ve never heard of the Law of Attraction before, right about now you might be thinking that while my first two posts were pretty good, this one proves I’m actually kinda whacko. Afterall, why on Earth would I want to have that kind of day? The answer of course is that I don’t. That day sucked arse. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m the only one I can give credit to for it.
And that’s a good thing. Wait, what?…how!?
If I’m the one responsible for how I feel on any given day in any situation – I can change it. I can’t assign the responsibility for making me feel good to someone else. They will eventually let me down, every time. Because it’s NOT THEIR JOB to make me feel good. A belief not widely held in our people-pleaser society.
So, how does this Law thingee work? In essence it can be boiled down to this; like attracts like. No rocket science there. But how does it apply to my shitty day? Think about magnets; no matter how hard you try you can’t make those opposing poles meet and stick together like the matchy-matchy poles do. I’ve amused myself on numerous occasions trying. Now apply that to thoughts – my mindset on that particular day (or vibration as I prefer to think of it) was well and truly stuck on ‘oh for fucks sake’. Just like I mentioned in my previous post – shitty things turned up during the day to match that vibration. That’s what I mean when I say I ‘invited them in’.
If you recognize yourself in any of this or it kinda makes a little sense to you then your next question is likely going to be “So, what exactly can I DO about it?”
You can change your focus.
Yep, that’s it. However, changing your focus in the midst of Abhijeet telling you he can’t help you until you’ve lined up 18 ducks in a row and have them all doing the can-can is a little beyond the capabilities of most of us, myself included.
As Abraham (more on that dude some other time) says, you have some momentum built up there and just like a freight train that’s going 100kph you ain’t stopping it in a hurry. You can however slow it down and eventually send it in the other direction. When that white noise of fury that tends to fill your head and dull your senses dies down, consciously reach for a good-feeling thought. Think about your dog, or your cat. If you don’t have one of those then go look at some cutesy YouTube cat video or whatever else takes your fancy. Just think of something which, even for a moment, makes you feel good. Notice how your body relaxes in response and just sit with that feeling for as long as you can.
As with a lot of things this technique is often a lot easier in theory that is it in practice, but if you can gradually train your mind to practice this along with some other useful habits that I’ll be talking more about soon, then your mindset (vibration) will be in a very different place and attract very different experiences. And when you get real good at it a lot of the time, well it’s about then I reckon the Abhijeets of the world will be the ones whipping those ducks into the best damn chorus line you ever saw.
Love and burpees everyone,